xburlesquex (xburlesquex) wrote,

It hurts.

So my boyfriend is going out of town to record with some people in San Diego with his band Albino fly.

So of course convienantly I have this dream of him cheating on me last night. It was so realistic and it really had me upset. So now I am freaking out, not sure how to handle him being gone for 2 weeks. Last time he left was for 4 days and I was trippin. I was so miserable.

Also we dont have the healthiest relationship, so that its bothing me to. There is lots of not good things in this relationship and I am starting to get worried. If I loose him I will be destroyed and I dont think I can go through that. I hate love. If I loose him, that will be it for me. I will give up. I have been hurt so much, and I am sick of failing at things.

I just dont know what I am doing so damn wrong. Why every relationship is always so akward for me. What sets me apart from other girls! I dont get it!
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